While it is quite easy to find information about famous female footballers in the Netherlands (and beyond) who are attracted to women, it is difficult to find a male footballer, anywhere in the world, who is attracted to men. The day on which football players from Germany might come out, passed quietly… What about LGBTIQ+ acceptance in men’s football? We spoke to sports journalist Barbara Barend who talks to football players about football, but also about LGBTIQ+ acceptance in the football world.
Photos were taken by Nine IJff.
About Barbara Barend
I met Barbara for the first time at the Regenboogsteden 2022 conference in Utrecht. Barbara is married to her wife Alette and they have two children together. She proactively works on LGBTIQ+ acceptance, especially in the sports world. During the conference she fulfilled her role as host with verve.
Barbara Barend played football at a high level at a young age. She acquired a love for sports journalism through her father, Frits Barend. Together with him she founded the sports glossy Heroes on, in which she also interviewed various football players. Although the magazine was recently sold, she is still involved.
Gay men in football
First the situation of gay men in the football world: there have only been a few professional male footballers who have come out so far. Justin Fashanu was the first professional British player, in 1990. He encountered great resistance and disgust from colleagues and left his club. Due to anti-gay chants, he left professional football altogether a few years later. Things were completely different more than thirty years later when Australian Josh Cavallo came out in October 2021. He received a lot of support from his club and colleagues, including world-famous football players such as Lionel Messi. The 24-year-old Cavallo proposed to his boyfriend in March this year at the Adelaide United stadium, the team he has been playing for since February 2021. [VICE]. Before that we had the American Robbie Rogers, he came out of the closet in 2013 and then played for LA Galaxy. A few years later, Minnesota United player Collin Martin followed. In Australia, footballer Andy Brennan came out of the closet in 2019. [NOS, 2021]
In February 2023, Czech international Jakub Jankto, a 27-year-old midfielder who was loaned to Sparta Prague by Spanish Getafe CF, also came out of the closet. He no longer wanted to hide the fact that he likes men. [NOS, 2023] In the Netherlands, the country that was the first to recognize gay marriage, we still have to wait for the first professional footballer who dares to come out of the closet.
How are things in the Netherlands?
I explain to Barbara that it is actually a very easy calculation. If you look at the percentage of men who like men, it is unlikely that there are no professional football players in the Netherlands who are queer. Right? Barbara: ‘Yes, then they apparently don’t feel safe enough.’
Barbara continues: ‘It is very much an issue in the sports world for men. Hockey player Pepijn Keppel has written a book about the unsafe climate and what the constant use of gay as a swear word did to him. I think it is important that athletes are open about that.’
‘Unfortunately, ‘gay’ is also a very frequently used swear word in football and it is very normal to shout at each other. That starts with young children: if you’re not tough, then you’re a wuss. Many parents are still guilty of this.’
One Love
Some background: in neighboring countries such as Germany and England you see that there is a lot of attention for LGBTIQ+ acceptance. In England you have had the Rainbow Lacescampaign from the Premier League with positive attention to inclusion in all kinds of ways. In Germany there are many LGBTIQ+ supporter associations. In the Netherlands, clubs seem to find this a lot more difficult, because not all supporters are supportive and sometimes downright threatening. For example, there was an arson at the founder’s gym Pink Comradesthe pink supporters club of Feyenoord. The walls there were also defaced with homophobic texts. The same founder did not dare to join Feyenoord for months after the many threats.
Barbara: ‘I also don’t think it helps that some captains have refused One Lovebelt to wear. If you all agree that you are against any form of racism and discrimination and want to stand up for each other, come up with a campaign called ‘One Love’ and link it to all the colors of the rainbow, then you will find I think it is a missed opportunity that not every captain in the Netherlands wants to wear this band.’
A few years ago it was still a ‘rainbow’ band, the symbol of the LGBTIQ+ community. Then all captains in the premier league and first division wore Coming Out Day that band. In 2022 that became the One Loveband, against all forms of racism and discrimination. That year and a year later, a number of captains refused to wear the band. And now the KNVB states that clubs can decide for themselves what the captain wears.
Barbara: ‘We live in a country where there is freedom of choice. In this case, boys from a Muslim background refused to wear the band. That’s allowed, but I also have some opinions about that choice. I think that’s a shame. I think that they can play an important role in gay acceptance among young people. It is nice to see that Islamic (political) role models such as Esmah Lahlah, Ahmed Marcouch and Fatima Elatik are very open in their fight against LGBTIQ+ discrimination.’
‘It is not a choice to be homosexual. I think a lot of people would rather not be LGBTIQ+.” Barbara continues: ‘Always fewer young people are positive standing against the LGBTIQ+ community is of course a regression. That’s a very bad thing.’
How does Barbara herself deal with her orientation?
Barbara: ‘I have always been very open about it. Because I thought: ‘Then I can have a role model function.’ So when people asked about it in interviews, I emphasized that. I always say that my wife. I just want it to be normal. There is no rooster to crow about it now.’
Was that the case in the beginning, I ask Barbara. She says: ‘Yes, I had my public coming out in the
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2024-10-27 00:40:00